I always have an urge to recede back into anorexia when other aspects of my life are uncontrollable and make me miserable. The tired emptiness and strive for physical perfection is better than wishing I could attain this goal daily, then resorting to suppression of negative thoughts—only to know that they will resurface tomorrow.
Yep, that’s me every day, unless I’m alone. I find that being in a live-in relationship, with my fiance’s parents, has put me in a much more emotionally unstable state. Perhaps it’s because interaction with others disallows retreat into daily numbness.
GROSS HYSTERICAL SOBBING
Why did this bring a tear to my eye? This guy needs a bonus.
One of the absolute hardest things that some people have to do is asking for help when they need it. They’re there for everyone else at the drop of a hat, anytime of day or night; but when it comes getting help or asking for help from others for themselves, it feels impossible.
Even moving past the “no one I know understands” and “I have no one to turn to” issues, many times the bigger issue is “I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.”
More below (possible TW: talk about SH/suicidal ideation)
Absolutely true, in my case.